Thursday, February 26, 2009

Welcome Nathan!!

It's a Boy!
Nathan Michael Carter LeSure
February 21, 2009; 1:17 AM
6 lbs. 10.35 oz.; 20 in. long

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Save Midnight Sun!!

Midnight Sun, for those who don't know, would have been the fifth installment in the Twilight series, but with a twist. It's exactly the same as Twilight, except written from Edward's POV.


It does say "would have been", because someone was evil and vile and cruel. Ms. Meyer did what many authors do, and gave out some partial manuscripts to different people. All of them were different, and she was looking for constructive criticism. One of those individuals posted their copy on the internet, heartlessly. Because of this, the project has been put on hold indefinitley. Ms. Meyer was kind enough to publish an unfinished copy on her own website, which is 264 pages and downloadable via .pdf (Adobe Acrobat) file.


You can read more at www.savemidnightsun.com or at http://savemidnightsun-jaime.blogspot.com/ or at http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/midnightsun.html
Hopefully with our support, Ms. Meyer will finish and publish Midnight Sun.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Got him fired?

So, a few days back, our district HR lady was in the store, like she normally is once a week. Near the end of my shift, I get a call from the Associate Coordinator, saying that the HR lady wants to see me in the store manager's office. Automatically I'm freaked out, because 99% of the time when someone gets pulled in there, it's not good.

So she starts small talk, how are you, how's the day gone, etc. Then she's all, Let's Get Down To Business. She starts talking about how I "witnessed" an incident with another associate and would I make a statement. She impressed how important it was to make a statement, so as to get down to the truth. The way she said it sounded more like, "Make a statement to save your job,"

What happened during the incident was simple. 2 other associates and myself were having a conversation while reticketing near self check out. I had brought up New Year's Eve, and our trip to the liquor store, where I saw this Vodka that I had seen in the movie Superbad. In the movie it was called GoldSlick and had shavings of edible gold leaf in it. Well this same Vodka, under a different name, was in the store, and I couldn't believe it. The one female associate started telling me about how the producers of SB couldn't get the rights to that particular brand so they switched the name. The male associate went on to say that he should put key shavings in a cheap bottle of vodka and tell two gay managers that it's really high end, because it would make them severely ill, or even kill them. Now, he wasn't serious, he was annoyed at the one guy and that was it. The other associate and myself admonished him and told him that it was a mean thing to say, and he immidiately said he was joking. The conversation ended then.

After I told her my version, she made me write it out and she made a call to corporate. I know the other associate involved called the anonymous 800 number to report him, because we were the only people in the vicinity, and he obviously didn't report himself.

I feel horrible, like I snitched. IDK how to make the feeling go away!

My work is really strict on any kind of harassment, especially against gay or transgendered associates. They even host the Gay Pride parade in the city our Corporate HQ is in. I know what he said was wrong, and mean, but I still feel like I did the wrong thing.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Caring For Carleigh

Well, I met this girl Holly on Cafemom.com, a networking site for moms and moms-to-be. She's pregnant with her second child and recently found out this baby has anencephaly.

"Anencephaly is a neural tube defect (a disorder involving incomplete development of the brain, spinal cord, and/or their protective coverings). The neural tube is a narrow sheath that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the "cephalic" or head end of the neural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without both a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating area of the brain). The remaining brain tissue is often exposed--not covered by bone or skin. The infant is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a rudimentary brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness. Reflex actions such as respiration (breathing) and responses to sound or touch may occur. The cause of anencephaly is unknown. There is no cure or standard treatment for anencephaly. The prognosis for individuals with anencephaly is extremely poor. If the infant is not stillborn, then he or she will usually die within a few hours or days after birth." - Courtesy of The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke

Anywhoo, Holly has decided to document her experience online in a blog here on Blogspot, entitled "Caring For Carleigh". I urge all of you to go and read about this family's experience and struggle for their daughter. I pray daily for these folks, as everyone should. They deserve it.

Not this month...

Well, we tried and failed this month. I jokingly told Amber she jinxed me...they are also trying and she got her period two days ago. I woke up this morning, and guess what!!!


I'm upset, because I really want another child. The what-ifs crept in, too.

"What if I can't have any more kids? What if I''ve stopped ovulating? What if there's something wrong with me? What if it was a one time thing?"

Ugh. Part of me wants to just admit defeat and be done, but I know that isn't the answer. I'm just frustrated. It seems like so many others don't even try but get blessed anyway.

Am I wrong for feeling like this??

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Trying real hard....

And it has commenced. We have started actually trying again. For those who don't know, our daughter, Jade November, was stillborn December 30, 2006. After that, our sex life went to the shitter. We hardly touched each other, let alone try to have sex. The last year or so was much better. We were married this past August. Two of his brothers married, one of their wives is now one of my best friends. We quietly celebrated Jade's second birthday. And we have decided to try again.

I work at The Home Depot, and it seems that a LOT of people are pregnant right now, or just had babies. Two people I work directly with are currently pregnant, and one just had a baby not too long ago!

Another good friend of mine is currently pregnant, and my SIL just had a baby in July! And yet another friend just had a baby in November.

So we are trying. Real hard. And I pray every day that we conceive and deliver a healthy, breathing, crying baby. That will be music to my ears, and match the song I so long to hear with my heart.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I really, truly need to find solace.

And yet again, the childish bullshit starts. Cyndi posted a bulletin on Myspace last night about how the brothers need to stop fighting and such, not only because they're family, but because it IS the holidays and our daughter's 2nd birthday/anniversary of her death is right after Christmas. The bulletin is as follows:

"This is an open letter to all of my children. All 5 of you. I'm not going behind anyones back, I will name names when need be. I want all of you to know that I love you all very much. This letter is not written in anger. But I'm getting very fustrated, with the way everyone is treating each other. I don't like being put in the middle of things. I'm tired of he said ,she said stuff. the truth is getting mixed up. It starts one way then ends up a totally different way. For the life of me why don't you guys sit down and talk this out? First lets take Rico JR. I understand your upset, because your dad and I hosted ryan and jennifers rehersel dinner Why ? we do enough things for you. You don't seem to remember, that you and jj got an after party. After you were married. If you have a problem with this you should tell your dad and me. Now Ryan and Jennifer and Rickey and Amber, what has happened? you guys didn't need to have been concerned with each others wedding. This being said basically to Jennifer and Amber, You both had lovely weddings, you both looked beautiful. I just don't understand all of this she said he said stuff. Why do you let that upset and bother you?. Is it really worth it? Why did you guys even listen?You both should of not paid any attenison to each others wedding and just conentrated on your own. you both did a wonderfull job putting your weddings together. Now theres tenison between Rickey and Ryan over this, which I being their mother really upsets me. I don't like to see them fight . they don't talk even when their in the same room. This is so stupid, and childish."






So first Ryan replies with this:

" And I will speak the truth and my own opinion...I agree, Alot of "He Said She Said" shit happens in this family. First off! There should be NO REASON why Buddy should be mad at you guys because you helped us out with an after party...I don't understand why the fuck someone gets mad at each other instead of happy?! In my own opinion, I think Buddy and JJ were jealous because what would another reason be? I remember hearing that my mom and rico did ALOT for your wedding...and what did I say? Absolutlely NOTHING! I was happy for both of you guys because I knew My mother cared about helping you guys out(and she still does to this day...more than me!). There wasn't one ounce of jealousy in me, and I know that my mom does alot for you so there is NO REASON to be jealous that my motherhelped you out! and you shouldn't of had any problems because we're family! you should of been happy for the both of us just like Me and Jennifer were with you...Another thing I would like to throw out is Why did you give us stickers for our wedding? I hope you know that REALLY Hurt us to know that's all what we were worth to you...If you would of came to me and told me that you couldn't afford anything I would of been cool...but to give us stickers for our wedding wasn't right after I Gave you money for your wedding and I got you a very nice mug as a thank you for being in the wedding...and all you gave me was a card and stickers... Ok and as for Rickey and Amber...Mom how would you feel if you heard Monica outside her window saying that she doesn't want anything to do with you after the wedding? You would be hurt! Just like I was...So I don't want nothing to do with him cause I'm done...I say Hi to him when I see him and I have no problem socializing with him at family events because I know he is my brother but if he doesn't want anything to do with him I don't want no part with him...and I am STILL PISSED about the way he talked to Jennifer, There was no reason to call her a dike...that is not right...I don't understand what his issue was with her, she never did anything to him!...to be honest with you Jennifer and Amber were getting along great, now Jennifer can't even be her friend. I want to know why Rickey and Amber didn't want to talk to us? To be honest, I think it was because of the wedding. I think it was all jealousy. I want to know why as soon as we plan our wedding in october you guys plan yours in the same month. When I proposed to Jennifer, Rickey did the same with Amber...Now I'm not saying that you guys are Jealous of us. I'm just wondering if it was Jealousy, and if you guys wanted to be the first ones....??? I just don't understand why you guys got pissed at us....When we had you guys over Rickey Supposedly said that he didnt like the way I was treating him...I don't know what I did wrong? I offered you something to drink and I was being very nice. You guys always complain that we never tried to do stuff with you but we did. We invited you over the last time, and it felt like you guys were trying to bring up any excuse not to come over...I didn't do anything to Rickey but it seems like Rickey gets mad at me for everything I do...like My Michael Tattoo and My HDTV,I feel like Rickey is always trying to compete with me when I'm not even trying. I just like to have nice stuff. I don't understand why rickey is still mad at me about the tattoo? You're a free man! you can go get your own Michael Tattoo...There's millions of people with Michael Tattoos and you get mad at me for having one? Yes I admit I was wrong shoving it in your face with the text message. I'm sorry about that...I was being stupid. Shit get pushed around in this family, and to be honest with you...it's all of the girls...Amber, I must say that everyone in this family knows you stir shit up, the day when Rickey Blew up we caught you in a lie"

First of all, I gave them scrapbooking materials for their wedding. Stickers, paper, etc. Why? Amber gave them a scrapbook. Gee, maybe they'd need those things to make a scrapbook! And what do I have to be jealous of? Please tell me. You have an HDTV? A new car?? Oh, your wife is hotter than me? Boo-hoo. Since when am I materialistic??!! I have a reason to be fat (which he's said before, as well as his wife would look better than i did if she had been in my wedding), it's called childbirth and steroids. What's your wife's excuse?

Mind, this was about 4 pm yesterday. I didn't see this until after 10 pm. At 5 or so, Cyndi also posted this:

"Rickey and Ryan you both were supposed to be in each other weddings. Didn't happen. That really messed me up. You guys are brothers, your blood. All because of he said she said stuff. I've lost track on what was said, so much stuff was said, I can't even remember. It was just words. But you guys are brothers. When your father and I are gone all you have is each other and that is scary. Yes,you'll have your own families, but as you get older, ( this has started happening to me ) you start to want to go back to when you were kids and the fun you had growing up, remembering the stupid things you did . Thats what keeps you going. The three of you need each other, you are bonded. Nobody can take that away. Amber has that with her sisters and so does Jennifer. Put this behind you and move on. Don't you guys relise what fun you can have together? I don't even have that. My sister lives 500 miles away. I can't hang out with her the way you guys can. Why do you think I look at the slides? Remembering the fun Monica and I had. Now as for Randy, Because of all this fighting among you Christmas is not what it should be. I'm tired of all this fighting. Last Christmas, I couldn't belive that Betty did not come into the living room to do presents because you guys were fighting. I never got to watch her open presents, see her face nor did I get a thank-you .this is why your getting a gift card.Not to be mean, but you told me you were not comming over for Christmas so i bought you guys a gift card."

To which Ryan replied:

"The reason why He wasn't in the wedding was because He told us he wasn't sure that he wanted to be in the wedding...so if you don't want to be in your own brothers wedding you don't have to be! That wasn't me! Rickey wasn't sure so he wasn't in my wedding because I think that's fucked up that you don't want to be in your own brothers wedding...Mom, I already wanted to go back as kids because I miss hanging out with them and wrestling with them, we were happy brothers but I don't know what happened either. I don't understand why we can't even hang out...well I can understand Randy Because Randy isnt Randy anymore..."

Um, isn't that really hypocritical?!

Cyndi ended the conversations at 5:30 with:

"Christmas was not a fun time last year. It seems that somebody is always fighting and no more. I love Christmas time, I love having my family here. And if no one wants to be here thats fine too. Just let me know. And Randy don't get an attiude, from what I said, I just spoke the truth. Whats going to happen when the time comes next year when the family pictures are taken? Is this going to be a problem? I hope not!!! I'm looking forward to that and CHRISTMAS

I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

MOM

P.S.Ryan because I don't know who is talking to who, please give a copy to your brother Randy"

And Ryan says:

"First off families shouldn't be fighting at all...I don't care if you say "Oh it's ok once in a while" no it's not! we should care about each other...we shouldn't be mad at each other or get jealous of each other, families don't do that!"

Completely the opposite of what he said an hour ago.

I really want out. We are going to Rickey's first, because he and Amber deserve to know what's been going on. Then, with or without them, we are going to Ryan's house to confront him. This is seriously old. We have to now talk shit on Myspace?! Are you serious?! Are we in the fucking 8th grade?!!!